Earlier this week I posted on Instagram about bucket lists and getting sh*t done in your life that you’ve been wanting to do.
The problem is, that’s so much easier SAID than DONE. We all know it.
We make these grand plans to do things but then never start or follow through.
TONS of things fall into this category – diets, exercise routines, relationships, career changes, travel plans, getting your house clean & organized, buying a house, moving, learning a new hobby…you get the idea.
I’ve done a lot of research into WHY it’s so hard to start going after the things you want in life and it basically comes down to lack of confidence and belief in yourself, aka SELF-DOUBT, the destroyer of all dreams.
This lack of belief then leads to lack of motivation, and it’s very very VERY hard to start and stick with new habits or make big life changes without feelings of motivation.
I can’t count the number of times I have been determined to start exercising daily only to stick with it for just a few days. And it’s because my subconscious “story” about working out is that I never succeed at it, so I end up quitting because, hey, that’s what I always do.
It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I don’t BELIEVE in myself that I can see it through, so then I don’t.
Think about it, when your ‘story’ – aka what you constantly think to yourself – is something like “eh I’m just not a daily exercise person”, that generates negative feelings and makes you feel hopeless, uninspired, unmotivated, which then leads to INACTION. So then even if you try for a couple days to get into an exercise routine, eventually those thoughts catch up to you, which bring on those negative feelings, which destroys any motivation you may have had.
On the other hand, if you can become AWARE of these negative thought loops that are keeping you trapped, you can start twisting them to be more positive, which leads to feelings of hope, excitement, motivation, etc. And these are all the feelings you need to actually start and get sh*t done in your life.
The ‘Try and See’ Method
So, next time you decide to go for something, or make a change, try being more AWARE of your subconscious thoughts or story about it.
Are you deep down full of negative thoughts about yourself actually achieving this thing you want? If so, you are blocking yourself from ever getting there.
Try adjusting those thoughts to thoughts that lead to motivation – so instead of “I can’t follow through with diets”, make it “What if I just try and see if I can follow through with this diet?”,
Instead of “I don’t have what it takes to start a business, I don’t know the first thing about it”, make it “What if I just try and see if I can start a business? What if I try and see if I can learn what I need to?”,
Instead of “I cannot handle difficult conversations”, make it “What if I just try and see if I can have this difficult conversation?”
Adding the “try and see” part takes the negativity out of the thought and almost makes it more of an experiment, thus taking the pressure off, which can make it easier to follow through with the task at hand.
It’s all about RE-FRAMING THE THOUGHT so that it takes away some or all of the negative feelings & beliefs that you have associated with that action.