Do you have certain goals that you keep trying to go after but keep failing at?
I know I used to.
And let’s be honest, I still do fail at new goals. Because everyone does sometimes. But, I discovered one trick that helped me with various goals I had been carrying around with me for years, since college basically. I applied this trick and either achieved the goal I wanted, or let it go.
With any new goal I have now, if I find myself repeatedly giving up on it, I realize it’s time to implement my trick.
Here is the trick (and I’ll explain exactly how to implement it effectively below): Challenge yourself to take a look at the REASONS behind your goals. If your reason isn’t strong enough, you will most likely give up every time.
For example, I have always wanted to get better at cardio, to establish a weekly cardio practice. I’ve tried to do this SO many times over the years to no avail.
I came to realize it’s because I didn’t care about it just for the sake of getting in shape, or getting healthier. The benefits didn’t outweigh the pain for me. I felt like I was already OK with my shape and health, so whenever the cardio routine got hard to stick to, I could easily talk myself out of doing it.
But, I implemented my REASON trick, and I realized deep down I wanted to be better at cardio so that I could be better at singing, as funny as that might sound.
I love to sing. I’m no professional but it feels so great when I do and when I’m good at it, so when I lose my breath on those big long notes, THAT’S what makes me want to improve my cardio. So now, whenever I do cardio, I imagine my lungs becoming healthier and my singing becoming STRONGER, and it works! Cardio just for the sake of cardio was not a strong enough reason to make myself do it.
So what’s your goal?
Is it starting a side hustle, losing weight, saving more money, eating healthier, creating a habitual exercise routine, finding love, leaving your job, watching less TV, getting really good at your side hobby?
Whatever it is, you can help yourself get there by reframing the reasoning behind the goal.
So dig deep, is there some SPECIFIC reason down inside why you want this so badly?
If so, make THAT a part of the goal: “I want to XXX (the goal) because XXX (the new better reason you’ve found). Then concentrate on that reason whenever you feel yourself wanting to give up.
It could be ANYTHING. Even if it seems silly, you don’t have to tell anyone.
For instance, “I want to lose weight/get in shape because…
“I want to run a 5k with my friend”
“I want to live a long life for my kids and grandkids”
“I want to be able to HAVE kids some day with no issues or complications”
“I want to feel more confident being naked in front of my man (or lady)”
“I want to be able to fit back into that dress I’ve always loved”
“I want to change careers and become a fitness coach”
WHATEVER it is for you, make that specific reason a big part of your goal. Visualize it, repeat it to yourself, especially when the going gets tough.
A good way to dig down deep is to keep asking WHY until you uncover something you weren’t really aware of before.
If you want to start a side hustle, WHY do you want to? Your first answer might be: “Because I want to make money.”
Ok, WHY? “Because I need to make money on the side in order to leave my job.”
WHY do you want to leave this job? “Because I don’t want to live the 9-5 lifestyle for the rest of my life.”
WHY? “Because I want FREEDOM in my life to do what I want, when I want.”
Freedom is your ultimate reason. So whenever you don’t feel like working on that side hustle, picture your new FREE life. You don’t have to wake up and get into the office by 9. You can do whatever you want during weekdays – mid-day errands, exercise, visit a friend, go to the beach. Get that image into your head, I promise it will inspire you to keep pushing at that side hustle if that’s what you truly want.
If you can’t find any reason deep down, then CREATE a reason for yourself.
For another example, years ago I wanted to start eating healthier but kept slipping back into old eating habits after just a few days. I had the reasons of wanting to look better, feel better, and be healthier in general but those weren’t working for me.
So then I started researching food – I looked into processed foods, and fried foods, and found out what they really were and what they did to your body, and it turned me off so much now I don’t find it hard to avoid these foods. I do still eat them on occasion but I do that by active choice, not because I feel like I can’t control myself around them.
So do some research on your goal, watch documentaries, read books, get some cold hard information and facts to almost “trick” your mind into fully wanting to go after this goal. Then once you find a reason that resonates with you, build it into your goal like above.
This is mine now: “I want to eat healthier because processed food is actually completely disgusting and I don’t want to put that into my poor body regularly.”
If you truly cannot find a compelling reason after that, then maybe it’s time to LET GO OF THIS GOAL!
Letting go of unnecessary goals can alleviate stress and guilt.
You might not be aware of it, but that goal and your failures around it are probably always in the back of your mind, eating away at you.
If you can finally make peace with yourself that you don’t have a REAL reason for going after this goal, that you don’t actually care enough right now about this one to make it happen, LET IT GOOOO.
You can always come back to it in the future if you want to. But let it go from your mind for now. It will make your life MUCH more enjoyable because you’ll have less pressure on yourself.
What this all comes down to is if your REASON is strong enough, you WILL keep going. So it’s just a matter of finding a reason that really works for you and is really true for you. And if you can’t find that reason, let that goal go.
For more goals help check out these posts: