Feeling stuck in your life is the worst.
You are a combination of bored, frustrated, confused, depressed, anxious, hopeless, and just unhappy.
Sometimes it’s SO hard to see the light when you are stuck in a deep rut, but asking yourself some insightful and effective questions can be a great way to get a jumpstart on feeling better.
These questions can spur clarity, motivation, inspiration, energy, and even joy.
In your current state of stuck-ness, you might feel like NOTHING will help you, not even these questions, but I say why not at least give them a chance?
Really, what is the harm? What is the worst that can happen?
You’ll feel a little disappointed if you don’t get some immediate clarity from your answers?
But the BEST that can happen is you’ll feel a sliver of happiness or hope that you haven’t felt in forever and you’ll get motivated to start making some changes to your life. Seems like a fair trade-off to me.
So if you do not get instant clarity from these questions, DON’T GIVE UP! It may just mean you are so out of touch with your real self that the answers are too deep inside you to come out on the first try.
Try mulling over your favorite questions on this list for a few days. Open yourself up, get a little out of your own head, believe anything is possible, and answers will start coming to you.
And don’t worry if every question doesn’t work for you.
Sometimes it’s just ONE right question that can change your life.
1. Where will my life be in 1, 5, or 10 years if I continue doing what I am doing today?
I’m not exaggerating, this question changed my life.
When I asked myself this a few years ago, I was extremely unimpressed and slightly horrified of what my future life looked like in 10 years. I was not excited for it AT ALL. I quickly realized it was time to take action and change some things.
If you continue with your current career path, or relationships, or habits, what will your life end up looking like in 10 years?
Would you be happy? Chances are if you are feeling stuck now, the answer is no.
This question can help you weed out the parts of your life that you DON’T want to exist in 1, 5, or 10 years.
But don’t only concentrate on what you don’t want.
Also think about what you DO want in your future. If you stop doing what you’re doing today, and make some changes, what could your life look like then?
2. What would I do if I wasn’t afraid of anything or anyone?
We hold ourselves back so much from goals and dreams because of fear.
We fear failure, we fear what other people will think, we fear the unknown. But what if none of those fears existed?
In a hypothetical world with no fears, what would you do? The answer to that is a good start on getting some clarity on what you want out of your life, or what you want to do with your life.
3. What would I do if I could completely start over?
If you had no past to compare anything to, or had sunk zero time into any efforts, what would you do?
Think of it as bringing your current knowledge and desires as an adult back to your 17 year old self who has a blank slate when it comes to “real life”.
Your 17 year old self hasn’t sunk any time into further education yet, or into a career, or into a relationship, etc.
What would your 17 year old self do to give you the future you desire? Now take those answers and start doing them TODAY.
It doesn’t matter how much time you’ve sunk into anything so far, what matters is what you start doing NOW to create the future you desire in 1, 5, or 10 years. Because if you don’t do that and continue to live the life you have now, you’ll look back in 10 years and you’ll be in the same stuck, unhappy place.
4. Have I done anything lately worth remembering?
This question is ROUGH, but so good.
The first time I asked myself this I was like WOAH, that’s deep. And my answer was NO! I hadn’t done anything recently that was worth remembering.
At the time, my life consisted of going to a job I didn’t care about, watching TV, and drinking wine every night. Literally day after day my life looked like that.
I realized I didn’t want to live like that. I wanted to get up off my ass and make some things happen! I wanted to achieve things, do things that made me happy, LIVE my life.
The point of this question is not to make you feel bad. Don’t get stuck thinking about how sh*tty you are or your life is, because it’s not true.
This is merely supposed to open your eyes to how your current life is going and whether or not you are OK with it.
5. What is the number one thing that, if I started changing it TODAY, would have the biggest positive impact on my life?
This question can help you pinpoint the #1 cause of your stuckness right now, or it can help you realize goals you have been wanting to go after.
Is it your career? Your relationship or lack thereof? Your friendships? Your health? Your mindset? Your location?
6. What is my life missing right now?
Try not to think in terms of possessions or objects here.
This question is more about what feelings, or deeper things, are missing.
For me, my life was missing MEANING, and that was crushing me. I longed to do something meaningful with my life, something that fulfilled me.
Are you missing joy? Are you missing personal connections? Are you missing the feeling of helping others? Are you missing excitement? Are you missing freedom?
7. How do I feel right now, and how do I WANT to feel?
This may seem obvious but I challenge you to dig deeper.
Don’t just say “I feel bad right now but I want to feel happy”. Describe your bad feelings. Describe what happy means to you.
Use multiple words here, list as many feelings as you can that you feel right now and that you want to feel. It will help you sort out your values, which can help you in any decisions you will make when making some changes.
For example, I felt stuck, unhappy, depressed, bored, hopeless, and I wanted to feel light, free, fulfilled, successful.
I took those feelings I wanted to feel and looked into what I could do with my life that would help me feel those, which led me to creating an online business helping people. That gave me freedom and fulfillment, and the ability to make as much money as I want to, uncontrolled by a salary.
8. What is my life like right now, and what do I WANT it to be like?
Describe in detail your life right now, as honestly as you can, and then describe in detail what your ideal life would look like.
Again don’t just focus on material possessions here, but definitely include them.
By comparing what your life currently feels like and what you want it to be like, you’ll be able to see where the gaps are. Then you can start taking action to close those gaps day by day.
Envisioning what your future ideal life will be like is also a great motivational and inspirational tool. Whenever I visualize myself in detail running a successful online business, living in the condo of my dreams, having a healthy lifestyle, I get a surge of energy and motivation that helps to keep me on track with my goals and dreams.
9. Am I going to live a life of mediocrity or would I rather just go for my dream life?
This question can help you figure out if you are ready for some big changes or not.
If you think “Hell yea let’s go for it”, you are READYYYY.
If you think “I really want to live my dream life but I don’t know how that will ever happen”, it just means you’ve got a little mindset work to do to help you with those fears and doubts, and that is totally normal.
If you think “I want to go for my dream life but I don’t know what it is”, see back to question #8. Pretend like ANYTHING is possible, do not hold back, and describe what your ideal daily life would look like.
10. If I answer immediately off the top of my head, what do I want to change in my life?
This is another way to get at what you most want to change about your life.
What is making you feel stuck the most?
The answer will tell you where you need to start taking action.
11. How much time do I spend each day pursuing something or doing something that I truly love?
Sadly for most people, the answer to this is zero. It most likely is for you if you were attracted to this post. It’s OK though! It is NOT too late. It’s good to reflect on this to get a grip on how your life is going.
How can you start incorporating things that you love into your life?
Or if there is nothing you can think of that you love, what new things could you try that you might love?
12. What are the things I keep saying I’m going to do, but for whatever reason never end up doing?
There are sooo many things we say over and over again that we want to do but never end up doing them. A lot of people die with regrets this way. So what is on your list?
Don’t worry right now about the WHY you never end up doing them part, just make a list of things.
This list will be a great resource for trying new things to find out what you might love that I mentioned in the previous question.
A key component to getting unstuck is to take action and start trying new things, with no expectations in mind. Just get out of your box and get out into the world, that is how you’ll find inspiration and clarity on what to do next.
I truly, truly hope these questions can help you start digging out of the rut you are in right now. Think of this as the beginning of the journey to the rest of your life, a life you love and want to live. It all starts with a little clarity on what you want, and the knowledge that you already have whatever it takes to make those things happen. You just have to put your mind to it and take some action*.
*Action can also mean reaching out for some help. If you liked these questions and want more personalized help getting unstuck and figuring out your life, I offer 1:1 online coaching where I will help you feel better, find clarity/direction for your life, and take action on any goals & dreams we uncover together.